The Downside of the Gift(s)

Hey you,

How have you been? So glad you decided to stop by today. I believe you will love this read. Enjoy 🙂

Ever gone through a season where your gift felt more like a curse than a blessing? Oh yeah, been there and it was not a good place to be. I must say it isn’t a phase one goes through and comes out the same. It is either of two things: you come out better or you come out worse.

Now let me use myself as an example; So, I am one person that makes herself too accessible and available to anyone who wanna talk, rant, share or seeking wisdom for a particular situation. I am always there. Then there came a season in my own life when everything felt very dry, like desert kinda dry. I felt ALONE!

Although I was very busy, I was overwhelmed with everything around me that used to bring me joy – family, work, friendship, passion. I had stepped away from God unintentionally but I could feel it. Everything felt bland and tasteless!

I was still my bubbly self externally but I was screaming for help on the inside. I felt so alone in the midst of loud voices all around me. My friends thought my work was too demanding, hence the disconnect or maybe I needed space in that season. But man, I was screaming for help. Like, can anyone see me? Can anyone, someone hear me? I needed someone to check on me like I always checked on them but… dead silence. I knew I wasn’t depressed (thanks for diagnosing me, lol), rather I felt like my eye was opened to the downside of my gifting. I looked okay but I was not okay. Not to sound negative but you know that your ever happy friend that does the checking and always seem like she got all her ducks in a row, check on her too.

That same season, people did things to me that made me go like “Ize, you can never be the Jesus in people’s life”. You point them to Him and step aside for them to navigate their path and not having to answer to their problems. The things that I found my identity in started to shake. I got alot of “Oh, I really needed someone to talk to today, but I had to sort it out myself because I didn’t want to disturb you.” I always wanted to be wanted, be needed…., but no, that was very selfish of me. For me to always be needed meant myself and Jesus now occupied same position. And I am not Him!

I had made myself a little fairy god-mother that always appeared when there was problem. I would speak over the phone for hours unending when my own life was just as messed up. Romans 111:29 gives an assurance that I’ll always have my gift but having to operate in it to the fullest whilst living a life pleasing to God, I had to learn total submission to the One who gave it to me in the first place. To live in reckless abandon before Him so He can lift me up in due time. To honor Him with my gifts and callings so it would be a blessing to me and others and not a curse.

It was a challenging season for me but out of the blues now and couldn’t be happier for the lessons. Not only am I wiser, God healed my heart completely, cleaned it up, filled it up and mad me whole. Now I can help people from a place of wholeness. I can boldly go out to heal hearts again through Christ and Christ alone.

Just like the elephant, your gift might feel like a giant on the inside of you or make you feel like an elephant, either ways, it can be lonely at times. That is why your identity shouldn’t be placed in the gifts but the giver of the gifts. No one may understand your path but He does, let the downtimes lead you to Him and not away from Him.

Till we meet here again,

Love always,

XXX.

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